Just trying to get to know you, you are on my friend's list.

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

I can't believe it has been a year since my last post. But it has been. And what a year it has been.

I resigned from my job a year ago. To take care of my  mom full-time. The doctors are still trying to figure it out. But they have managed to rule out several things.

Dad has accepted that there is something wrong with mom. His mom had a stroke at Christmas time last year. And has became more difficult to deal with. But thankfully I don't seen her very often. She likes to make me feel bad for taking care of my mom.

Mom's mom has decided to stop talking to mom and me. She is of the opinion that mom's health issues are the most difficult on her. Not the person who is stick with her 24 hours a day. Or mom the person who went from working over 40 hours a week, walking 4 hours a day, and doing everything for herself, to being helpless.

Mom went blind over the summer. So I am learning more about dealing with overcoming challenges. And still finding myself, expecting her to be able to see things, to trying to explain where things are. I never realized how often you just point at things. To how trying to explain a layout of a room. Let me tell you, when she walks into a wall, or a door, she can find a way to blame me.

Mom is doing a lot better, this summer one of her doctors had me in tears, and was an ass about it. He basically said, that she was not going to make it past Christmas and he could not do anything to help or prevent it. Well, we took her to a different doctor and he said that was not entirely true. But since this one doctor said this about mom, none of her other doctors in town would do anything to help her. We took her to a completely different doctor and she was admitted to that hospital and she started getting better. And a week later, she was admitted to another hospital spent over two weeks there and she is doing incredible better.

Dad's uncle, who was like a second father to dad growing up and even in adulthood, was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. His uncle never had any children, so dad is the closest thing to one, and he was recently placed in the nursing home. Though it does not sound good.

And I am waiting to hear back from a school located in town, going back to school from my Bachelors. I currently have two Associate degrees in Graphic Communications and Marketing. And they have a degree completion program, but I am starting to think that the admission person does not know how to use a telephone. I have left several messages for her to get back to me, so I can schedule I meeting to go over what classes I need to complete my degree, and register, since I have went to this school previously. And she still has not returned a call.

I think that is most everything.

Whoever said money buys happiness, I am not sure what they know what they are talking about.

What I have realized recently is that, the more money who have the more troubles and problems you have. I also hope to make enough someday that I can complete a few of my goals, and see a few different places in the world. But I also do not want to live outside my means.

Anyway.

Most Saturdays, I get to relax and unwind from the week. I started a new job about six months ago, and I love it for the most part, but there are days that I could live without. Like when you have to get upset because you receive paperwork stating the product will be on site and two week later it has not even left the factory. And my direct supervisor tells me, I am not aggressive enough when dealing with these situation.

Well, my closest friends know that, I am a caretaker for my mom, the doctors finally figured out what she has, and it is a rare neurological disorder. Well, she fall a little less then two weeks ago, and has been pretty much been bedridden since then. Well my dad has not accepted that there is something wrong with mom. He might have accepted it but he does not want help with her. If I ask for help, he gives me the dirtiest looks, like how dare I ask him to help her. Or when I am about to lose my cool, and walk a way from the situation so that I don't and he gets upset with me and cusses me out for walking away. Well, this week she was having a bad night and I told him, he could deal with it, since I have had to take several days off from my job to take care of my mother. And he has been with his company for several years and has several days of sick leave, vacation and etc. and he got ever pissed off at me.

Well, my grandmothers have decided to stick there noses in and cause more problems. My dad's mom thinks that I should not ask dad to help with anything and that I should take care of him and so should my mom. My dad should not have to deal with anything else, since it is such a stressful situation with my mom.

And my mom's mom has finally accepted that that there is something wrong with mom. While the doctors were trying to figure out what was wrong, that if she would just try and "get off her lazy butt" she would be just fine. And of course, if she would have taken care of herself before they figured it out she would not got this disorder.

Well, mom fell again today, and she got upset with me. And I lost it since this is not a great situation. I was crying and my parents were out of the house for a few hours tonight and it is my time to unwind and decompress from everything. Well Grandma wanted to clean our house today. And I did not exactly fell like cleaning. well lets just say that it would have been a better decision to clean. Because she called a few times and made me cry and then she drove over and made me cry.

I am having a very hard time accepted that I am expected to give up my mid  and late twenties and take care of mom. And Grandma was making sure that I had a hard time accepting it tonight.

I am so stick of crying today.

I could really use a redo of this day. 

So, it is my first post to my LJ. And I am going  to announce that I am bored. I should be excited my family is on vacation, and I don't have to make sure that my mom, is taking her insulin, and measure out what is eats. Since she does not do that for herself, but all I realize is that there is nothing good to watch on television and that all my movies, which there are quite a few of, do not sound interesting. And most of my friends have a life. I could be at a friends wedding but it is too far away to go in a day. I really need to make so friends where I live.